Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He called his prostate his "boner button".
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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