Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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