Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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