Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
