That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
