____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
