Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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