He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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