I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize