Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just gift wrapped bread.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
