He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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