Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
