It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
