You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
