I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
someone owes me an orgasm
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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