I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
