My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
