i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Sacagawea was the original milf.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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