Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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