my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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