It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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