your thong is hanging out like whoa
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just sent this text using only my big toe
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
