There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
