im having a threesome with these popsicles
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
