Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Help. Why am I so naked?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
