The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
