Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
