I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
