After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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