Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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