I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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