They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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