In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
