dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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