ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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