Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
So. Much. Porn.
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