You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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