24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
