Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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