Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
