have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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