I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
