if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
