Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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