I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
