Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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