K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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