Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
