Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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