How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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