his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
