Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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