he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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