If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
