Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
