so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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