lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize