Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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