Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
