We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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