you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
