tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize