Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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