your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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