I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
do nipples grow back?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize