I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
