i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
