The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
