p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
