atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
