what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
