What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
